getting upset

I will be the first to admit that it is late and I am tired but something set me off a little tonight. As much as I try to move forward with life cancer is still there. It is never far from my thoughts. I now read anything that comes to me about cancer. Today I read an article about Lance Armstrong and Livestrong. It isn't as scarry as it was but can still be upsetting. I don't think about it all the time, but I still think about it a lot. It feels like I am in a kind of no-man's-land of not in active treatment but not declared completely cured. This situation for me carries a lot of under lying uncertainty and doubt. That doubt is usually in the form possible recurrance and waiting. Tonight I just couldn't chase it away.