Well, it has been a year since being diagnosised with GIST. The last couple of days I was getting a little upset with this date looming. I was upset remembering the day my world changed with one word - TUMOR. Remembering the shock and fear all setting in at once. I had a talk with my therapist last night which helped a lot. Today is going wonderfully. My one goal for this day was to make it positive instead of it being spent fretting and crying.
I am pleased to report that is what is happening. I bought myself pink roses, a piece of birthday cake and other special food for today. I have done some on-line shopping for things I need like vacuum filters and I got concert tickets for the Indigo Girls for me and my niece Emily. I am going to take a luxurious bath and I am going out to dinner with a couple of friends tonight. We are going to a couple of little rituals - on the fly - one releasing all the fear/anger/worry/disappointment of the past year and the other affirming my strength and hope for the future. Otherwise I am doing fun things I want to do today.
I will be honest with you - there is a small hole or pit in my stomach, but I note it is there but don't give it another thought. I see this day as another threshold to move accross and beyond cancer with faith, hope, happiness and fierce courage. The first threshold was the first CT scan - and another big one will be the next CT scan which will mark some many things, one year of having the cancer removed and another clean CT scan.
The only thing I have to do is change the litter box! I am looking forward to the rest of this day with fun, happiness and hope - and that is the best kind of day.
It feels so good to be positive, happy and hopeful.
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