Monday Monday

It is good to wake up this morning and know that Health Care Reform has passed the House. I watched some of the proceedings on CSPAN last night.

On to more personal things - I requested an additional week for recuperation. I am glad I did. This has been one on going lesson for me through out the cancer journey - that of speaking up for myself - letting people know what I need. While things are steadily healing things are still tender and hurt - I am not at even 90% healed. So I figure lets just take another week to get all healed.

I have been reading Audre Lorde's "Cancer Journals". I found it as I was hunting for a mouse and pulling out all my books. I first read the "Cancer Journals" in seminary as part of my study in feminist theology. I wish I had found this earlier in this journey because she speaks of fear and anger and powerlessness and most importantly finding one's voice to break the silence that fear and anger can create. It is hard breaking the silence not just of the internal fear but also that of others not understanding what it is to face what a friend of mine called "The Big C". Audre write "The silence will not protect you." And yet cancer is so hard to talk about. Cancer can create silence, but there are so many internal silences I struggle to break to find my voice. This blog certainly is a venue for braking the silence which has help me a great deal dealing with the fear and all the overwhelming feelings and thoughts. I write them here with out any fear of what any of you think.