Wow! Christmas is this week. I finally have the spirit. I have been revelling in winter, but now that I have my all my xmas lights up, and I made two batches of my mothers stole with Carolyn twists. I have my presents ready. So now I can relax and just enjoy things.
I had been fussing about my friend until I talked to my therapist friend and these two poems came out. Maybe I am moving closer to forgiving by stopping blaming myself and accepting that things happened the way they happened.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and soak in the quiet winter.
I want to bury this hurt
In winter’s hard ground
I want not to care or love you
I want to pluck out the thorn and be done with it
I want to shake you
To make you listen
To honor what I say
To respect me
Don’t make me feel like I am to blame
Or that you are superior to me in some way
Instead I am left with hurt silence
Since you aren’t willing to listen to me
Or respect me
So maybe we are better off parted
She said it
She wasn’t the right person for the job
As simple as that
And suddenly my anger and hurt
Had no fire
So maybe I stopped
Blaming myself
For making the wrong choice
Or blaming her for not stepping up
I don’t know
But for now
That thorn in my soul doesn’t hurt so much now
Instead there is this deeper quiet
Stepping closer to forgiveness
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