Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Snowy Tuesday

Is just as bad as any Monday! I find the beginning of weeks so hard - hard to shift gears. My weekend was spent cleaning and generally lounging round and especially shutting off my brain. After being paniced and scared for almost 5 months I am at a point where things are pretty well set and I just want to get to that date. I really feel like shutting off by brain until this event happens - I don't want to think anymore.

Right now I don't have panic except for the beginning of the work week. I think the panic comes from looking at the week ahead of me a work and all the things I have to accomplish and I just panic. Especially this week because we have a big meeting to do prepare and pull off and I have a large role in making that happen.

Deep down I wish I could just spend the next week just taking is easy and doing a little of this and that, but I can't. I know the regular schedule helps keep me going and distracted, but another part of me just wants to shut down to a very basic level and just get to 2/25 with the least amount of stress and drama.

I can't even think past 2/25 - well maybe a few days in the hospital, but not really. But 2/25 is pivotal day. I am putting off dealing with some things until after 2/25 - they are just too emotionally upsetting and I want to remain and calm and happy as possible in this next week. I want to get my to-do-list finished and then just coast until my Liberation Day.

I did get out for a little walk in the snow. I love walking in snow. And of course I had my camera with me but nothing caught my eye.

1 comment:

  1. *hand on your cheek and gentle smile*

    Know I think about you and look to the day and days after. This will be your time to shut down to a basic level. To do list finished and you can rest and grow strong.

    *hugs*
    Cent

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