Making cancer a positive

"It's much harder to say I have a something that makes me different and understand that those differences are actually your assets. Flaunt what you got and trust me, all your dreams can come true. No one can ever reach their dreams by being negative and feeling bad for themselves."
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Quoted from Lauren Ruotolo, author of Unstoppable in Stilettos.

Making cancer an asset - wow what a radical was to think about cancer - I want to move in that direction - and I am doing it by working with my church and creating a red tent.

But my instinct is still to try and run away. I got so anxious about going to the oncologist this week. I really just drained all my energy that yesterday I had no energy for anything. I confess, my brain and my emotions went back to a year ago. I tried to keep telling myself that I was in a different place, I even repeated all the names of friends who sent me good wishes for Tuesday's appointment. My brain and emotions really wanted to run and hide. During Tuesday I did pretty well until I got home and my body really just shut down in some kind of exhaustion.

Now I am proud of myself for Tuesday - Monday night I wrote out strategies to help me with Tuesday on a post-it. So here they are:
1. two imaginary places to go if I go really anxious - one a magical pool with a water fall where I could go and sit in the water feeling the falling water around me - my imaginary stone cirlce
2. I listed the work I needed to do at work that would keep my mind distracted
3. I wrote out a list of all my friends and family that I could repeat as a mantra of support
These things really did help me through the day.

So back to the quote - flaunt my differences - that I am a cancer survivor - Maybe there is a way to make the shift from still wanting to run away from it to embracing it - I think embracing cancer is a positive way for me accepting me as I am. So How to turn cancer into a positive?