Feeling stronger

I think today is the first day where I feel like there is an end in site to having cancer a central part of my life. Today is the stongest I felt in a long time, especially physically. Things that are probably helping this new sense of strength is the warm sunny weather we are having in NYC. I mean, today is the first day I am wearing sandals! To me that is a sure sign of summer on the way. But prehaps for the first time I have some glimmer of returning to activities that make me happy, like going to the beach, and taking pictures and other such adventures without always thinking about cancer - or at least having it lurking not too far back in my mind. That life will move on to a new normal without cancer being that present. There will come a time when I won't have to think about it - I hope. Now, if I can hold on to the grace, gratitude and love and let go the cancer. Right now I know that cancer in a way has brought me to this place of gratitude and grace and for that I am thankful - but can I let go the cancer and hold the grace, love and gratitude - well that is part of the journey......