Thursday, July 8, 2010

Rendering Cancer a Toothless Monster

To say it million times
Still would not be enough
How to take the teeth
Out of such a word
Render it a toothless monster
Cancer
And all that it holds
Fear
Worry
Death
Fight
Falling apart
Putting back together
Life changed
Maybe it is me
Some would say
It is out
Move on
I am trying
But I am stuck
With all this emotion
Needing to cry
Needing to be angry
Needing to talk about
My experience with cancer
To say things
10 or 100 or 1,000 times
Until I am tired of hearing myself say it
To say loud and clear
I had cancer
Until I am ready to say something else about me
But I don’t know what to say
Where to begin
Maybe I just need to be with people
Who have been through this
Who go on living life
Honestly
Right now
I am still scared
I am worried
I just need the space to process
Maybe I pushing
Or expecting the process to move faster

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