Thank heavens for the rain today. It allows for a quiet day to recover from all of yesterdays family and feasting. I got up this morning and just stared out the window for a little while, watching the rain making ringlets in puddles. I am looking forward to a day of reading, movies and a little more family. I will say it does feel good to be somewhere where I know I am loved and I love just as much back. Where I can cry and loved ones don't try to fix it, where they just hold and let me get it out. Where I can talk about this and not quite so scared. I am so very grateful for this.
I am still shock by my reaction when other people, strangers, talk to me about this. I know there are many who I don't know who are praying for me - but somehow when I meet one of them it all of a sudden feels intrusive and shocking to me. It feels like I have no control who knows - giving up a little of the control again. But in talking about it - I want to talk about things when I ready to or share it when I ready and these situations push me out of my comfort zone. This experience in many ways is pushing out of comfort zones of all kinds and in all kinds of directions.
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