I am so sorry

Okay - I am not going to read the gist listserv - it has rattled me too much. So this is turning my car around (priscilla) or getting the train back on the rails. Reading the listserv overwhelmed me with information and had me questioning my treatment path. I can't do this to myself and to you. I am not one of these patient warriors - I believe in the doctors helping me and me helping them, but also asking questions - sometimes tough ones that need to be asked. I just can't fight with my doctors - I am not like that. So I am sorry to all of you for sliding in some direction other than forward to healing and health.

Priscilla also warned me about people who live for cancer. Well, I think I talk to such a woman last night. While she, in her way, is an advocate for researching GIST she also lives for her cancer. She was another one pushing gleevec treatment. I don't want to do my life to be about cancer. I want to move on and manage the cancer so it is as part of my life but not the reason for my life. Now, I know I am not there yet - I know I swing back and forth and am slowly progressing to what I want. It will take time for me to get there, but I am working on it and I am so grateful to friends and family who help me get back on the right track.