Turning fear to positive

I am not quite sure what to title this mornings blog. Here is what is in the running
Positive Warrior
Lessons from Harry Potter
You must think I am taking forever to figure this out
Choosing the positive
Turning fear to positive

So maybe your are thinking how do I tie together all these ideas. Well maybe it takes a walk through my weekend to know how I got from point A to point B.

Lets start with Friday - complete meltdown. I was get scared about this coming Friday LAST Friday! With encouragement and gentle proding from Prisiclla I turned the corner - got the car going in the right direction again and created a visualization for myself. I visualized this COMING Friday as a journey from when I woke up to when I got through the test all with a positive aura around it - that this test would go easily for me. Like a movie I moved through getting up - gettting
dressed - having no breakfast - talking to my sister - both of us walking out the door - down the street - up the stairs to the subway - on to the train - all this whiel I am calm and focused - not afraid at all - off the 7 at Grand Central and switch to the 4-5-6. Getting off at Union Square. Meeting Priscilla. Going into the testing place - down the elevator - checking in - telling them about issue with needles and to have something topical to numb the skin - sitting and waiting - I don't see me chatting but just quiet and focused and unafraid - I do have to tell both of you that you need to tell me to breathe - let me hold your hand - I may hold it hard - getting up with my sister and getting ready for the test. Getting changed into the silly gowns - bringing my pink robe with me - now getting the IV put in - the band to make the vein "pop" - the alcohol - the numbing stuff - close my eyes - I hear my sister telling me to keep breathing in and out - in and out - and the needle just goes in like butter - I don't really feel it - they find a good vein no problem - and then depending on what the doctor wants - the barium chalk drink and waiting for it to work into my system. Then the test itself. Asking for music - remember to breathe - just say the mantra - breathe in - breath out. Getting up on the table the slides into the scanner and close my eyes - don't watch what the machine is doing - and listen to the techs instructions. Sooner than I think It is over and they are helping me off the table. I get change and meet Cathy and Priscilla and we go to eat - for me it will be breakfast!

Okay so I have walked you through my positive visualization. I feel better and empowered for having done this. I feel it now as I write it for you. But my story doesn't end there.

So now to the other stuff! The Positive Warrior. As I have been thinking about this over the past weekend I felt this Positive Warrior grow strong in me - it took the scared little me under its sheild. My Warrior didn't banish the fear or negate it, but rather accepted it for what it was and comforted it. The fear maybe still there, but protected by the Positive Warrior. It feels like I have positive armour on and that I know good things are happening and will happen. I guess the Warrior in my told the scared little me - it is time to stop being scared - to - in a sense suck it up and chose the best way to get through this - I want it to be as positive as possible so my visualization and warrior self with armour and sheild I am creating that positive possibility - that positive little miracle for me.

I am going to keep this positive thread going by addressing the other titles in other posts - so you aren't spending your day reading my weekend warrior story - so more tomorrow.....