The scan went okay

As I write you this evening I am listening to the Moody Blues and feeling strong and positive - like a Queen.

So - most of you know the CT scan went okay. For those who I forgot to send an email I am sorry - but here you get the whole story. I feel like writing about it in detail because I feel like I finally got it right from advocating for myself and following up to getting through the scan with only a little upset. I guess I am trying to create a good pattern that I know I can repeat in the future so I can maybe conquer this fear and create a positive expereince to remember in the future. By little steps I am getting there.

I got numbing creme from the when the tech put in the needle in my arm. I talked to the tech the day before to explain things so he had some understanding what I needed. So when I got to the testing place I talked to the tech and he put on the creme. Cathy and I waited a little while and she kept me distract by asking me all kinds of things witchy - like meeting the coven earlier in the week. Cathy forgive me being a little curt or short with my answers - it is sometimes strange to talk about witchy things in a public place - I think next to talking about cancer - I don't often talk about being a witch. Well, I digress, back to the story. A little before going into the scanner I did take a anti-anxiety pill. The tech called for me and I got changed - into a gown that barely covered me - nothing like all my jiggly parts peaking out! Before going into the scanning room I asked if he could get my sister so she could hold my hand as he put in the IV. I looked at me like this was a silly idea and kind of scowled at me, but he said yes. Damn they keep those testing place COLD! FREEZING! So up on to the table that slides into the scanner and he gave me a nice blanket. Then he started taking out all the things for the IV and that is when I started to fall apart/cry/freak out. I asked him to get my sister because I was starting to cry and lose it and he did after he got things set up. Luckily I was laying down on the table so I couldn't see any of the IV things and when he put in the needle I could see it either because my arm hung down off the table. If this is the way he does his scans - it is genius for me. I didn't have to close my eyes even though I did at first when I started to freak out. I kept telling my self "just breathe - in - out - just breathe - slowly - in - out". Cathy came in and talked to me about her grandson Bruno and then she got on to the subject of the Red Soxes - I had to tease her a little about where the Yankees were in the standings compared to the Red Soxes - we laughed a little about that - and by that time the needle was in.

The scan really took very little time and I didn't keep my eyes closed while in the scnanner except for once when I opened them - but just for a second. I don't know it seemed that the scans in the past lasted my longer - this one was over in minutes. He took out the needle and up I got from the table and I and my barely covered jiggly parts went back to the changing room. He did comment to me that sometimes we make things bigger then they really are. I know my fear of needles is irrational - but it is there and I have to find ways to address it, acknowledge it and then to heal it. I think the generally over all good experience that this was is a scan and IV needles process that moves in the right direction.

After the scan Cathy and I did a little shoe shopping with both Shoe Mania and DSW on our way my favorite diner on 14th street where we had blueberry pancakes! Cathy did see me all the way home as I was feeling really tired and kind of spacy. We took care of some food shopping and I dealt with some library books before she headed out of the city. Thank you so much Cathy, for holding my hand and distracting me and being with me for that 24 hours. It was such a huge help. We had some good sister time.